The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My liver just had a heart attack.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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