Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway