i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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