Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
