C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize