Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
