Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
