I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
