At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
