He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just had sex bonerless
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
