i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
try to milk me bitch
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
