Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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