i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
