I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
