and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
