I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
