haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
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the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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