then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
