Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
