Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
