she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
