The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
