But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
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But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
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I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.