listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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