I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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