Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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