You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.