i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?