it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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