Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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