My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize