but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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