Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
