Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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