dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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