You really coming over, don't trick.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
