he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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