I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
