We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
