Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
