Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
