they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
