Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
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He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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