Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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