every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
