Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
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Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
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The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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