no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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