So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize