I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
