no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
