wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
