im six kinds of drunk right now
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
