Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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