she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
