she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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