well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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